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Mutual Assured Delight

Archive for the category “Ficton”

The Arts are dead and so are you.

So I wrote this for a Facebook post a while ago , but I really liked it, so I am putting here as well.

After hours upon hours of contemplating my options, reviewing the current trends of the market, and consulting, ney,   pursuing every possible avenue, I have come upon this very conclusion: The Arts are dead.
Yes, I know that this statement may seen to be completely incorrect, lacking any basis in reality, but hear me out.
I read Yahoo.
A lot.
Yes over the years I have scoured the many articles written by the prestigious staff of this news powerhouse regarding education and it has become clear to me that the arts( including performance, creating, selling, and especially the teaching of) has no place in in our fast paced modern society. To get an education, for both personal and business reasons, will surely lead to a life of debt and frustration. The study of both the fine and the minor arts is a long road leading to a cliff of endless sorrow. Let’s face it; The entertainment industry is six feet under. Anybody who thinks otherwise is simply being idiotic and foolish, which most likely means that they are majoring in the arts themselves. Because some people will statistically not succeed in these majors and fields, to keep it on the safe side nobody should major in it.
In fact, if I may be so bold (and I shall), ALL of the humanities should be included in this.
I’ll repeat myself.
ALL of the humanities should be included in this.
I know. you’re probably sipping your champagne while pursuing The Facebook and saying to yourself between bites of your rare prepared steak, ” But Mr. Grant. Your claims are absolutely preposterous. The benefits of getting an eduction in the arts, wether towards a degree or just to further a hobby, is an important part of any education. Most people in some way or another are attached to some form of Arts or humanities in general. Yes, majoring in these fields is not for everyone. And Yes, the unemployment rate is higher than in more STEM related fields, but throwing out the baby with the bathtub is preposterous. Instead of getting rid of programs related to the Arts as a reaction to our low standings in the world, we should try to increase promotion of both STEM AND The Arts in early education. The arts and humanities are very much alive in America and we most continue to support them “.
Poppycock I say!
Poppycock and flabbergabstation and abernathaloutationia all around.

The High browed Liberals in the make believe land of Academia are out of touch with reality. They are stealing our children and friends money and then kicking them out into the Serbian tundra without a pocket to cover their privates.
NOT even their privates.
It is an absolute shame to see such intelligent (yet at the same time idiotic) youth waste their god given talent on such meaningless aspirations.
Now I know. You are sky diving off of an Eagle of Manwë while hopscotching through the World Wide Web on your Google Glasses and yelling to the President of Latveria, ” This is a fruitless rant Colin. You yourself are a music major and have expressed interest in such things as Anthropology and History. If all of these things are valid, which they are not, are not setting yourself up for failure? I think you are blowing things out of proportion. Even Doctor Doom agrees with me, and he looks down on everything NOT Doom”.
Your feeble mind makes a surprisingly astute observation.
I am no longer lingering in the before mentioned fields.
Instead, I am pursuing a more noble path.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
Wait for CAREER POLITICIAN.
But not just any Career politician. A corrupt one.
Studies show that corrupt career politicians have a longevity in the field.
Yes. To prepare myself for a preposterously long and prosperous career, I will being by cheating on wife of 10 years while doing coke out of the bellybutton of a mistress twenty years my Junior, stealing government money from my constitutions to visit her in her home Latveria, and then lie profusely about it. To assuage them, I will suggest legislation that really makes no sense.
Apologize profusely and convince my wife to stay with me.
Rinse. Wash. Repeat.
Now I know what you must be thinking as you are chasing tornadoes in the magic school bus with Ms. Frizzle and George Asimov to discover the Doctor’s name while telepathically communicating to Dennis the Menace of the Archadian Empire, “This is stupid”.
No.
This is America.
God bless us, everyone.

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Time-Crunched: On Writing

Like Colin, I too have been insanely busy ever since school has started.  Being the second sophomore ever in AP Physics at my high school is kind of intense.  That said, I don’t have a lot of time.  This post is hastily being thrown together in the few spare minutes I have between my seemingly endless pile of homework and band practice, so I apologize for its poor quality and I hope I can write something more enlightening and worthwhile later.   But for now, here are my crunched-for-time thoughts on creative writing:

Do it.

Seriously.  Go grab something to write on and write with and write.  It doesn’t matter what or how long it is, but just write something so surreal there is absolutely no chance it could actually happen.  Write a three word summary on alien invasions.  Write a novel starring Ben Franklin and his long-lost time-travelling brother.  Write a grocery list-esque poem about absolutely nothing at all.

The weight that is lifted in just a few minutes of scribbling nonsense onto a napkin is the most freeing feeling you will ever experience.  The best part?  No one has to see what you’ve written.  These silly little thoughts are for your eyes only.  Keep your friends close and your notes closer.  You never know when one of your after-work poems will inspire your next fanfiction, or screenplay, or novel.

This is why I always carry a blue pocket notebook on my person.  I never know when I might find something worthy to write down.  Some of these gems of thought have evolved into something more, starring in a short story or emerging as the plot for my NaNoWriMo novel.  But the majority of them stay in that little blue notebook, hidden away from the rest of the world until they’re ready to grow up.

So I dare you.  I dare you to find your own little blue notebook and embrace the art of creative scribbling.

~Rizzo

Under the Covers

 

Under the vast canvas of a slighty worn black comforter, the characteristic light from a chipped silver gameboy advance sp illuminated the darkness of my prepubesent room. The screen was blank though, an odd thing for any gameboy held in the slender hands of a boy to be. No, this gameboy had more pressing duties at end. Yes, this console was the lantern that lit the way towards knowledge. Under those covers late at night I read books about magical beings an places. Hudden from a candid world( and a mother’s after bed time rage) I would dive into a sea of wonder.

More than a decade (and many strong prescription glasses) later, I find myself still diving into the paper dreams that I found at a younger age. I found myself recently at the other side of the country and found myself(lets face facts, I was drawn to it by some mystical force) at a local library. At that library, a magician was doing an event based on the national summer reading programs theme for the summer, dreams. This magian was not only entertaining, but insightful. He pointed out that there are two types of dreaming. Dreaming when you are asleep, as in dreams, and dreaming while awake. Magic and getting into an amazing book is the latter. During both experiences, belief and reality are locked on suspended animations. Dangerous dragons and magical movements happen right before the eye and in the head. We are dreaming while wide awake.
I know that I talk about this alot, but I cannot stress this enough. Hug a librarian. They are the gate keepers and the  key holders and the sandmen to dreams and fantasies beyond your wildest dream. I have been involved some way or another with the library system for as long as I remember, and it has benifited my a thousan folds over.  The library is truly a place full of dreams and dreamers.

Dreams are todays answers to tomorrows questions- Edgar Gayce

-Grant (I dream of a world where a good live action Last airbender movie is made)

Polite Poetry six

              

                            Ellie

The tiny pattering of feet fill her head

growing in intensity as the dream shrivels away

She lays outside letting the raindrops batter her porcelain frame

What happened to the balloon that would never allow her string to be tied down

the helium of life is gone and her string

oh that string that was tethered around my arm and lifted me up

it is wrapped around the leg of that chair.

the exhilarating cries anticipated has all but been replaced

replaced with the sobbing. the rain.

Tell me, what can this hopeless balloon vendor do

do without your laugh that was more precious than any amount of helium gas.

Tell me

How can I help you float above the falls?

I do not own any of the characters from Pixar’s Up. All rights go to Pixar, my heroes.  -Grant

The Dark Knight Rising into theatres

All right Ladies and oh so gentle men, the day that we(Though I can only speak for myself) have been waiting for  is almost upon us. That is correct,  The Dark Knight Rises flies into theatres in just three days.  M Night, I mean The Dark Knight Rises, is the third movie in Christopher Nolan’s action packed trilogy that follows the creation and possibly destruction of Batman. This last movie is going to be a special treat for fans of the  comic book. Nolan is using the pivotal storyline of when Bane breaks the bat. Every so often in a comic book, a storyline comes along that brings all the right people and ideas together to create a special moment in a comic. This moment is like a bottle of Dasani on a deserted island or that Pokeflute that moves away the tired old storylines and hashed out idea. Batman vs. Bane is that kind of storyline and Nolan is sticking pretty close to it, unlike that dumbed down Bane in the infamous Batman and Robin. This movies seems as if it will live up to the hype.

There is much mystery surrounding the movie, and nobody knows exactly what Nolan has in store for the end. All that is known is that the franchise is going out with a bang. I am so excited, I am not even going to rant about Anne Hathaway( and trust me, if you could see the conversations me and my friends have about her as Catwomen, you would pay me to shut up).  Regardless of how good the movie is or is not, it can be safely said that  this trilogy that explored what Batman is, with all his flaws and idisyncrosies, shall be missed.

See you at the Theatre    Grant

 

I’m Batman!

So Cute

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