weaponsofmassdelight

Mutual Assured Delight

The Amazing Peter Parker


Bear with me, I have’nt written a review in a few months.        Peter Palmer?

Whenever a movie or a concept is redone for the movies, a collective gasp is held in the lungs. Most movies take ten years or more to redo a loved movie, for fear of backlash by the critics and potential audience. That is why it came as a great surprise to almost everyone when the franchise movie featuring Tobey Maguire was rebooted featuring Emma Stone and  Andrew Garfield, that guy from The Social Network.  It is common knowledge that the Spiderman trilogy had lost steam after the first movie, but that never warranted this. I have no qualms when it comes to my love of Spiderman. He has always been my favorite superhero. I even wrote one of my main college essays about Peter Parker. You can understand why a feeling that can only be described as joy, anxiety, and the whole entire Spanish soccer team kicking me in the unmentionables came to mind. One good comic book movie is a gift from the Gods. Two based off of the same character by different directors filmed only five years apart is…….impossible?

Or is it?

Last week I got up the nerves to get on my knee’s and ask my aunt to take my broke ass to the movie theatre. After shamelessly smuggling in food and scaring the annoying tweenagers into shutting up by secretly telling them about how the next ten years of their lives would play out, the movie began.

I was not disappointed.

Okay, so  from a film critic’s point of view, it was nothing new.  It had the feel of Indie with a Hollywood budget, which makes sense coming from Marc Webb( I know,  he was born to direct Spidey!), the director of (5oo) days of Summer and numerous music video’s for big time artists(Trust me, you’ve seen one of his video’s).   It was a very safe movie. As a critic I would give it  4 out of 5. B+, A-.

As a self-proclaimed Spiderman fanatic, let me just say YYEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS to the nth degree yes!

I loved it. I really liked the Tobey Maguire series, I honestly did, but I lived this movie. Garfield may not look quite as geeky, but he embraced the loner aspect to the fullest.  With that, let me say this: watch out Mr. Andrew. Emily Jean Stone is mine. Everybody loves “You hit the jackpot, Tiger”,  but nobody remembers the first and great love who was tragically ripped from Peter. It was Gwen Stacy who ended the Silver Age of comic books with a snap of her neck. It was Gwen who shared  Peter’s love of all things science and taught our sensitive spider about love. It was Emma Stone who played her flawlessly. She was smart and charming and everything I thought Gwen should be.  Andrew Garfield did not disappoint either. Though he is a bit cooler than I imagine Peter, everything else was spot on. He was socially awkward( I have never seen a man stumble so much in the mouth than Peter talking to a girl), he had problems with bullies, and best of all he had a quick tongue.   Also, Webbs did not have an easy task. He had to take away staples of the Spiderman series to distance himself from being a sorry repeat of a good trilogy. That means no Mary Jane, no Norman, no “With Great Power comes Great Responsibility”(Though he did everything but kick the audience into that general direction).

I think what made the movies worth it, besides the fact that we saw the making of the wbshooters was provided the knowedge that spidey does not web to clouds, was that it was never about just spiderman. The movie was about Peter. For the last ten minuets, there was no man behind the mask. It was just a man. There is something you need to know about Spiderman that may shock and astound you.

His power origin story sucks spider balls.

Seriously.  The Fantastic Four went into space in a space ship made by the smartest man in the world, Bruce Banner saved a kid who walked into the high level test he was doing, and Thor is a god. A GOD!   Spiderman was a science nerd bit by the wrong spider.  How pathetic.

Want another secret.

I’m not a Spiderman fan.

But I am a Peter Parker fan.

Hell, I am a fantastic. Why? Because he is just like us, the readers.  Despite the amazing powers he was given, he is immediately called a menace and cannot get a real job.  Just when things start to go well, his girlfriend dies, and he might have killed her.  He can’t catch a break.  Peter Parker has always been about the rollercoaster ride of life. No other hero initially had that.  Spiderman did not punch the lights out of The Lizard. Peter Parker and science saved the day.

I cannot wait for the next movie to see what Webb will do with our two science nerds.   If God, A.K.A Stan Lee, will allow it,  believe that we shall seeing a lot more of the greatest hero ever. Peter Parker

-Grant

“With power that may be gre- alot, there should be responsi- certain moral tasks that take the form of sacrifice. Do you understand me Pete?”

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